Oh LOVE…the most natural yet complex feeling of life. There are qualities that we are to possess, faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love, 1 Corinthians 13:13. T.D. Jakes talked about ones capacity to love. He used an example of a pint size lover vs a gallon size lover. There is no way that the pint size lover will ever reach the love capacity that the gallon lover requires. This brings about a serious dilemma for the gallon lover. The gallon lover has all the capabilities in the world to love their pint size love friend, but will never truly feel the love they need in return FROM their companion. So what are the options? Does the gallon size lover throw away the relationship or keep striving KNOWING that they will never receive love in that manner that they NEED? Besides, by the time they realize that their love tank isn’t being filled, they may already be committed to the relationship.
What determines ones’ capacity to love? While listening to Revive Our Hearts host, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, made mention that unless one truly has a relationship with God, the creator, where He is your first love, you will not have the capacity to love others the way you need. This made so much sense at the moment and in reflection. We’ve all heard the cliché, “Hurting people hurt people,” the same would be true for the opposite, “Loving people love people.” But it’s something different to love someone that has a relationship with God and themselves. 1 Corinthians 13 is a description of love. Not the, “OMG I love those shoes” or “YESSSS, I love that hair honey.” Nope. We are talking about a REAL LOVE (cue Mary J), agape love.
To love and to be loved is an innate human experience. We must also understand that it is not the responsibility of others to cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves. If we only depended on others to fulfill our need for love, where does God fit in? We must first establish our relationship with Him. If I were having trouble with my Windows laptop, how much sense would it make for me to call Apple tech support? It doesn’t make sense at all. I would want to go to the creator of the device. That’s how our relationship with Christ should be. He knows ALL about Jameela, why would I seek out others for my validation? I must start with the creator. In having a relationship with Him, I can learn to love myself and by default learn to love others the way THEY need to be loved. Without agape love, the God love, I would not know about patience, kindness, forgiveness, being humble, or standing up for justice. 1 Corinthians 13:3 states, “If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed by body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing (New Living Translation).
When we encounter those that may be pint size lovers it is not up to us to make them accept our gallons, that’s overwhelming. What we can do is show them our gallon love, our agape love. Be patient, be kind, be humble, stand up for justice, and learn to forgive. Love is not just one word, it is a series of actions, those actions listed above. How much of those actions are you willing to show others? When you can answer that question, you’ll know the depth of your love.
P.S. If you haven’t had a chance to read 1 Corinthians 13, please take the time to read it in its entirety.